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Fri, 14 Nov 2008 10:24:36 GMT

and away, again.

I'm off to Latvia in about half an hour, for two of my best friends' 30th birthdays (though they aren't having a combined party). Then on Monday I fly from Riga over to Romania for one of those work trips. I'll be meeing one of my colleagues there, so we should have fun!

It seems like I've stored up all the fun times I didn't have for several months, and am having them all in November. Happy!!! :D

EDIT: Oh, and massive birthday smooches to jackieville and sunisshiningnow! MORE fabulous Scorpios! (My Jack is a Scorpio ;D)

In another hour

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:08:51 GMT

we'll be setting off for the airport and I'll start the next leg of my epic journey, this time to Toronto to stay with ballincollig . I am SO excited about going to visit Niagara Falls! veronica_rich asked me if I'd be dressing up as Will for that one as well, but I think I'd like to visit somewhere as myself for once :D

See you all on the flip side xxx

Eh heh heh heh

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 07:16:37 GMT

Drunk AinSoph is drunk. We've moved on from the mojitos to peach margaritas. They rock and are made of awesome :D

*slumps in front of the TV showing the president elect with a stupid grin on her face*

The further adventures of Captain Will Turner

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 03:49:27 GMT

Well, Turnercon may be over, but seeing as I've still got my costume, I wanted to put it to good use :D Yesterday, veronica_rich, dahliannaand ~~Will~~ I all drove down to Louisville to meet justawench. Oh dear lord, we had an absolute blast!

All good journeys start with Starbucks, and out in the parking lot, Will found himself a new ride (other than Jack). The lady in Starbucks was lovely. She gave me a big grin and said, 'Honey, I think Hallowe'en is over.' I said, 'Yes, but I'm British,' because right now that's my excuse for everything. She trotted off for a moment and came back with a handful of candy for me. WIN!!!

After another couple of hours or so, we arrived in Louisville (trying to spot as many landmarks from 'Elizabethtown' along the way), and met up with justawench and went to the nearby Cheesecake Factory for lunch.

dahlianna had a Jack plushie hanging from her rear view mirror, and we just had to bring him along for the day :D Got a little Captain in you?

Will decided on sushi for lunch. Little!Jack was quite happy with his rasberry mojito. Everything was YUMMY.

After lunch, we took a turn around the mall. Every now and then I'd wonder why people where staring, and then I'd remember why. Really, it's quite disturbing how quickly you can get used to cross-dressing as an undead pirate captain... Yeah, the stares may have increased when I discovered one of the massage chairs they have all around the mall. DEAR GOD THESE ARE SO GOOD THEY SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. Jack and Will think so too...

(I may never live this down.)

More silliness was had when we strayed into a Claire's and I found an elf hat. Time for some crossover madness.

Ah, but if you thought the whole big bag of wrong stopped there, you'd be mistaken. On the way back, we stopped at the adult superstore - or as I dubbed it, the One Stop Porn Shop. As we drove into the car park, I waved cheerily at a group of people who were gesturing wildly outside the gates. veronica_rich then gleefully informed me that they were in fact a group of fundamentalist Christians trying to save my soul from the evils of porn. Yeah. Ok. I think the woman cross-dressing as a (gay) pirate isn't only going to hell, she's selling tickets :D

Well, we did find a rather appropirate (LOL - typo I just had to keep) display to pose in front of. The only thing is, this film appears to have far too many women in it!

We decided we ought to make a historically accurate gay pirate film. How awesome would that be?! We all got ourselves a film each. I ended up with 'The Porne Identity'. I wonder if it sticks to the original plotline...

As we neared home, we had to make one final stop. Near where veronica lives is an old disused minigolf park - with a nautical theme.

Will's just making sure the lighthouse is still working, because really, he has enough shit to do.

Despite these precautions, he still has a lost soul to save. She did appear to be more interested in taking photos than getting hauled aboard the Dutchman...

Eventually, peace is restored and once again, Will can set sail into the night.

One of the best things of all was when we got home, as if by magic, 'Elizabethtown' was on TV! Once again, the God of Slash smiled upon us!

Reluctantly, I had to give back Little!Jack, and fell into bed at about 3.30. I've spent most of today asleep, but I did get to check out ver's polling station (and use the laundromat, which was a new and exciting novelty for me). Now, we're sat watching Stephen Colbert and John Stewart as the election results slowly come in, and drinking our second round of mojitos. History is about to be made :D

ETA: HOLY CRAP! YAAAAAAAY!!!

Things I have learned this weekend:

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 15:34:57 GMT

1. My LJ friends are all unbelievably fucking awesome.
2. Jack's moustache really does tickle when he kisses you.
3. Unbuttoning breeches to get them off takes absolutely AAAAAAGES. There really ought to be more button casualties in my writing. NO ONE IS PATIENT ENOUGH TO GET THROUGH THIRTEEN BUTTONS IF THEY ARE GAGGING FOR IT.

Off to Louisville (in my Will costume) to see justawench :D

Will's first post...

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 17:16:25 GMT

Hi ladies,

Just wanted to make sure you don't miss me too much ;D

(Hope you like my screensaver *g*)

- W

xxx

Oh holy crap, YES!!! punches the air

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 00:55:25 GMT

My costume is finished. Done. Consummatum est.

I'm all packed. I have checked everything once, twice, three times over, and whatever isn't in the bags now just ain't coming with me.

CHICAGOoooooh!

Love you love you love you all xxx

*falls into bed after checking her alarm again*

Dear lovely muses

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 16:29:00 GMT

I love and adore and appreciate you, etc. etc. but, as if the nigh-on incessant canoodling is not distracting enough (although quite fabulous and in no way take that as a criticism and do not cease on my sanity's account, please), would you have a little compassion and not drop an entire fully plotted-out story arc into my brain for the very tentative modern AU I've been toying with for the last couple of years? Most of all, it is distinctly unfair (Jack, I'm looking at YOU) to come up with some deliciously witty bitchy-queen putdowns that just HAVE to get written, or to posit the perfect contemporary rescue scenario (Will, you're not off the hook either for that one), and expect it all to get written, when I have several very desperate WIPs clawing at my brain demanding time and attention and effort.

This is very, very mean of you both, so stop plotting you naughty conniving gorgeous pair. There is only one of me and you don't seem to realise that I have to do terribly boring and time-consuming real-world things (and it's no good sticking your fingers in your ears, you, or raising your eyebrow, you). Remember what happened last time you decided to commandeer me? Wasn't exactly a success, now was it?

All my love always, (though you don't deserve it, you ev0l incubi),

AinSoph xxx

p.s. I am, of course, willing to negotiate if you can help me get another chunk of 'Call' done before Christmas.

OMG OMG!

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 17:16:48 GMT

I just saw Andy Sirkis as I walked round the corner to get hair dye!!!

Eeeeeee!!!

Also - Oh, Obama, you ARE too awesome :D (just watch the first couple of minutes - you won't regret it)

And if you can't do the embed thang... http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDTAcfu5rlA

It's coming up to 3.30am...

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 02:34:57 GMT

So it's almost time for me to get up. Yes. You read that right. Today I am doing a mad day trip - to Barcelona! A friend of mine I haven't seen for nearly five years is over from Australia for the week, and this particular day trip is one we used to do when we worked together. I am SO excited! Plus it's wonderful to see her again. She hasn't changed a bit, despite having two little girls and acquiring a spouse over the last few years! I can't wait for us to explore our old haunts, most of all, the wonderful little café we stumbled upon the second time we went there. It does the BEST hot chocolate I've ever had. It's pretty much just melted chocolate and cream, and I have it with cinnamon *drools*

Whee! That's my alarm! Gotta go!!!

*squishes and hugs and blinking sleepily*

Restarting... press F1 to reboot in safe mode...

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 12:54:16 GMT

Yes, once again I've been in hiding. Actually, I'll confess I've been feeling completely crap because I've been freaking out about my finances and terrified I'll get kicked out of my flat. But I must have a fairy godmother (or possibly two fairy godfathers ;P), because I got a call on Monday from a lady from the council, saying she'd like to come over to inspect my flat to assess it for the housing benefit. Well, she turned up yesterday and I nearly hugged her when she left. You know what it's like when you're totally desperate and suddenly someone fantastic and competent and intelligent turns up and does their job brilliantly and helps you out? You know how that... NEVER happens when you need it to? Well, to my utter astonishment and relief, yesterday it did. So, finally, everything is sorted. I will have a roof over my head. I can now concentrate on getting much more better rather than stressing about all the stupid crap that I have been.

And, more's the point, I won't feel like hiding anymore. Once again I will do a big comment spam to all of you lovelies who have done and said and written fantastic things over the last week (or whatever I've missed previously), and this time I won't slip off the radar again. Hell, I might even feel inspired to do a bit more writing again. Please feel free to poke me and say - 'hey, look at this,' if I've missed it, because no doubt I won't want to pass it by.

Oh yeah, and I still REALLY NEED to go to the Post Office and send off dragonmad and veronica_rich's massively belated b-day pressies. Although ver, I may end up just bringing yours with me at this rate ;P

*sends love and unending gratitude for how patient and fabulous you all are*

ANGRY

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 11:54:36 GMT

Ok, I try to keep as much of my real life bitching and whining on here to a minimum as much as I can, but this last week has been utterly crap. First, my wireless router died, so I've had no net at home (it's back now, ALLEFUCKINGLUJAH) for what seems like ages. Also, I can't claim any housing benefit yet, because my bank still haven't printed my most recent bank statements, and apparently they ARE INCAPABLE of doing so until the end of October, because they send them out every three months, and that's when they are next due. So, yes, hello screwed up finances and using up the very last of my emergency savings. FUCK YOU VERY MUCH.

And as for this weekend, well, let's just say my brother's side of the family are in a meltdown at the moment because of my niece. To cut a very, very, very long story short, she's behaving pretty much like a normal, typical teenager, and they seem to think that she's some sort of aberrant freak, and are considering sending her to boarding school because they all can't stand each other at the moment. I think it would be the best thing for everyone, most of all her, because I'd want to be out of that environment like a shot if that was me. Talk about projecting their own faults onto her - they wonder where she gets this so-called 'abnormal' behaviour from, and then demonstrate it themselves in spades. Damn it all to hell; I love my family, but they are such a fucking work in progress X(

And to top it all off, Paul Newman died.

So, no. I'm not a very happy bunny right now. But by god, it's a relief to be able to get back to all of you. Love you all *hugs*

The awful truth is... I DO have an addictive personality.

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 23:29:38 GMT

World of Warcraft just ate three days of my life. Stuff this addictive should really come in powder form.

In other less disturbing news - yay! I'm off to see Hamlet with David Tennant and Patrick Stewart tomorrow! (OMG, I'll leave the house >.<)

*hugs all of you and tries to shun the crack game of DOOM*

Self-control - I haz/haz not it

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 13:56:10 GMT

I am loving our new Round Robin fic game over at jackwill - placeofinsanity 's awesome idea. But spookyfbi - I gotta spank you, you naughty wench ;D How can you post 'melted chocolate that', and not expect me to go *gah* - *ug* 'rivalled his eyes'. Aaaargh! I shall resist! I shall - or the silliness factor will be multiplied a hundred-fold.

danglingdingle , I'm blaming you as well for my confectionery-based tourettes, after your insistence on 'Pools. Chocolate pools.' XD

*spankings all round*

*Will runs away before I try to lick his eye*

*Jack suggests I should have substituted another body part instead*

Oh god, please save me from myself XO

Ficlet for the 'Rum' prompt

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 09:48:38 GMT

Title: Rationality
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: Pirates is the property of Disney
A/N: 700 words for the 'rum' drabble prompt at jackwill (so I suppose it could be a septuple drabble ;D)

Rationality

“See, another excellent reason why I confess I am somewhat fond of you,” Jack said, rolling onto his belly and resting his uncomfortably pointy elbow and the surprisingly cold base of the bottle he was holding against Will’s chest, “is that I get to have your rum ration.”

Will didn’t seem to take this as the extreme flattery it was meant to be.

“Your elbow is digging into my sternum,” he said tersely.

“William!” Jack said sharply, pinching a nipple in the misguided notion that he had not got his meaning across simply because he did not have Will’s full attention. “Are you unaware of the magnitude and fortuitousness of this happenstance?” He was still kneading Will’s nipple quite thoroughly, and Will did seem considerably more focused on him now, which was always a bonus.

“So,” Will said with an inscrutable expression, tucking one arm under his head, “I’ve got your affection because you get my rum ration?”

“You seem to underestimate my esteem of rum.”

“No. I’m quite aware of your unhealthy obsession with the stuff. Do the other one now,” Will added, glancing at Jack’s fingers, “or you’ll wear that one out.”

Jack duly complied, his fingers skating across Will’s chest, and grinned as Will hooked his free arm round him.

“Will,” Jack said earnestly, “do you know what rum is?”

“Er, yes,” Will replied, giving Jack’s bum an annoyed squeeze. “It’s molasses, and sugarcane, and water distilled together.”

“No,” Jack said sternly, relinquishing Will’s reddened nipple so that he could wag his finger in Will’s face. Will gave Jack a withering look and pinched his bum again. Jack was quite happy about that, and wriggled one bare leg between Will’s. Then he remembered the lecture he was delivering, and lifted the bottle, rocking it from side to side.

“That is merely what rum is made of. What rum really is…”

“Is freedom?” Will ventured, the corner of his mouth twitching.

“NO. Not this time. Stop interrupting.”

This time, Jack got a spank. Jack retaliated by sitting up and straddling Will’s hips, then planted the bottle demonstratively back down onto Will’s chest.

“What rum is, William, is not simply a heavenly decoction of all the sweet things in life, nor is it only a paean to the exquisite alchemy of quantity an’ proportion an’ time all balanced perfectly to make the ideal liquor. That’s very distracting, you know,” Jack observed, glancing down to where Will’s large hands were running up and down his thighs.

“Yes, I do know.”

“Marvellous. Well, keep up the good work. Right… rum, yes… It is not just all… whatever I said. You gonna go any higher at some point. Mine, preferably?”

“I’m waiting for you to tell me what rum really is, and hopefully that’ll explain why my rum ration makes you so happy.”

“Rum! Oh, yes. It’s… the gateway to divine madness. Dionysian ecstasy. Holy delirium. It’s melting into warm, dizzying, glorious joy, an’ feeling your skin prickle with the sheer bliss of existence… ah, not unlike that, mmm… It’s Maenads roaring naked under starlight sending Orpheus to his death.” Jack, eyes closed, gave a small, thoughtful frown. “Though I suspect that had less to do with his denial of their faith, and more to do with his rejection of their dubious feminine charms in favour of something more like this,” Jack said, tilting his head back with a lascivious purr, hips writhing against Will’s, thrusting into his hands. “Ah, blessèd rum. It’s every sailor who’s ever called the sea his home. It’s every ship, an’ every briny wave lapping her hull. It’s those soft, warm breezes that kiss your cheek as you stand in the bow an’ feel happiness weigh in your heart so heavy it almost hurts. It’s that dark, sticky scent of skin an’ sex, an’ your mouth like honey an’ sin, an’ the taste of you on me, an’ it’s good. Oh, it’s good. An’… Hey!”

Jack blinked, and gave Will a disgruntled look. “Oi! Why’d you stop?”

Will squinted down at the bottle still resting on top of him, then looked up at Jack, eyes widening guilelessly.

“How on earth do they fit all that in there?”

Some advice, please!

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 15:57:59 GMT

Dear lovely flist,

Do any of you know a good place I can get decent swashbuckling-type boots from in time for WillCon? I realise I'll probably have to order them from the US via airmail (which is ironic, considering that's where I'll be going with the boots - maybe they can come with their own plane ticket). I'd prefer them to be leather, but most of the ones I've seen start at around $300, which, much as I love boots, is too much for my lint-filled pocket. If the only ones you know of are PU, tell me about those ones as well. Basically, as long as they look awesome and won't cost the earth, I'm interested.

Also, I have fairly muscly calves (17" circumference), so skinny little boots will not do :(

*looks around with a hopeful expression*

I totally stole this from ballincollig

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 13:21:57 GMT

1. Do you like blue cheese?
I like all cheeses, even the really scary smelly ones like Stinking Bishop. The only kind I don't like is goats cheese, because it tastes like sour goat.

2. Have you ever smoked a cigarette?
Loads. I smoke about five roll-ups a day.

3. Do you own a gun?
*snort* No, but I know how to use one.

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
I've never been to one, but if they had cinnamon flavour, I'd probably get that. Or maybe ginger.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Not usually. I'd rather know what was wrong with me than keep playing over all the disaster fantasies in my head.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
Ew, unpleasant. They remind me of coming out of clubs at 3am, when there's always a crowd of very drunk people clustered around a mobile hot dog stand, all of them chomping away on 'meat' of a dubious origin.

7. Favorite Christmas Song?
Coventry Carol, O Men From the Fields, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. O Come, O Come Emmanuel (I like old Christmas carols a lot)

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Orange juice, roiboosh chai tea.

9. Can you do push ups?
I haven't tried for years. Why would I do that? It hurts!

10. What's your favorite meal?
Either roast rib of beef with all the trimmings, and the rib bone to gnaw on afterwards, or lobster grilled with garlic butter and a side of frites.

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
My big silver skulls necklace.

12. Favorite hobby?
~~Sleeping~~ Writing

13. Do you work with people who idolize you?
Um, I'd be a bit freaked out if I did.

14. Do you have A.D.D?
I'm... not sure. I don't think so, though.

15. What's one trait that you dislike about yourself?
My tendency to procrastinate, lol.

16. Middle name?
Elanna

17. Name 3 thoughts at this moment.
"That fucking pile of crap at the end of my bed really needs to get sorted out today."
"Ooh, it's the final of Maestro tonight!"
"Hmm. WWWD (what would Will do)?" (He'd already have tidied up, that's what)

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday:
Hee! I actually bought some stuff for myself yesterday for the first time in ages! A jade green courdorouy velvet coat-dress, lamb neck fillets for dinner, and David Cordingley's newest book - 'The Dauntless - The Life and Adventures of Thomas Cochrane'.

20. Current worry right now?
Money; keeping my energy level up; whether I'm going to make some kind of massive entire life-change fairly soon.

21. Current hate right now?
That there are never enough hours in the day.

22. Favorite place to be?
"By the ocean, in the ocean, on the ocean. Alone." - oh yes indeed. I'm totally with you on this one.

23. How did you bring in New Years?
LOL! See above. I was staying in Brixham in Devon, and was standing out on the balcony of my rented apartment, watching the fireworks go off all round the harbour, alone. It was the best New Year I've ever had XD

24. Where would you like to go?
Angkor Wat in Cambodia, Arizona, and Argentina (not intentionally aliterative *g*)

25. Name three people who will complete this?
Anyone else who feels like a bit of procrastination on a Tuesday ;)

26. Whose answer do you want to read the most?
Anyone who can be arsed to do it!

27. What color shirt are you wearing?
I'm still in my nightie 8P

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
I like satin comforters (preferably silk satin), but the sheets have to be 100% cotton. Think of the static electricity otherwise. It'd be like a firework display under the sheets, and not in a good way!

29. Can you whistle?
Yeah, I can hold a tune. I can't do the two fingers in shrill thing, though, much to my chagrin.

30. Favorite color(s)?
Red.

31. Would you be a pirate?
Seriously, dudes, did you plant this question in here? *g* Actually, much as it may surprise you, I wouldn't be a pirate. Not the historical sort at least. Too much bloody hard work and too little hygiene. I'd prefer to sit back and watch them doing all the work and getting dirty - and take extensive notes, of course ;D

32. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Any old crap that comes into my head. The last song I sang in the shower was the Bee Song. You know - "I'd like to be a busy, busy bee, Being just as busy as a bee can be, Flying all around the wild hedgerows, Bringing up a lump upon the parson's nose!"

33. Favorite girl's name?
Eden

34. Favorite boy's name?
Xavier

35. What's in your pocket right now?
I have no pockets, and I rarely use them even when I do.

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
Um, writing out the Bee Song...

37. Best bed sheets as a child?
I never had exciting novelty sheets when I was a kid. They were all rather pretty with tiny flowers on them.

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
Falling down the last step one New Year's Eve (before I'd even had a drop to drink, might I add) and doing... something to my foot. I suspect I broke something in it, because it's taken about two years for it to stop hurting completely, and swelling up at random times. The long recovery time may have had something to do with the fact that I lay at the bottom of the steps until the adrenaline kicked in, got up, and hobbled halfway across London to that damned party.

I know. That was dumb.

39. Do you love where you live?
Yes, and no. I really love my flat, and I like the area of town I live in very much. I'd always prefer to be out in the middle of nowhere, though.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
Three.

41. Who is your loudest friend?
They're equally loud, I'd say. I don't know anyone of that 'obnoxious' level of loud, though. That would drive me mad.

42. How many dogs do you have?
No dogs. No pets *sniff*

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
A crush? What are they? Eight?

45. What is your favorite book?
ROFLMAO! Like I could ever choose one! Please refer to big-assed list.

46. What is your favorite candy?
Reeses Nutrageous!

47. What is your favorite sports team?
I confess I have little interest in watching sport.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Um, 'Highway To Hell'. Also, I want the 1812 Overture as the finale. I want my ashes to be distributed among a load of fireworks, and used in a display at the end of the service - over the sea of course.

No, I haven't got it all planned out, or anything... *eyedart*

49. What were you doing 12 AM last night?
In all probabilty, reading smut. Or possibly the new book I started, 'In Search of Schrodinger's Cat - Quantum Physics and Reality' (Will's choice, don't ask).

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning?
"I need a wee."
Type your cut contents here.

*scrutinises HTML*

WTF is this wtfuckery?

At least it's letting me use a cut at all, rather than randomly leaving half of the text out from the cut. *shakes LJ* What's your problem now, hmm!!!

Fic for the turningpirate challenge

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 00:21:05 GMT

Characters: Will, Sao Feng, others by reference and implication
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Pirates is owned by Disney, and I do all this for fun and love, not profit and plunder (I'd be a crap pirate, me).
Word Count: 1 234 (lol)
A/N: Written for poetic_self 's prompt 'Starry' for the turningpirate challenge.

A Drowning Man Will Clutch At Straws

One, two, three…

I am not doing this for you. Or for her.

And I wonder, really, how much I am doing it for him alone.

Who would suspect me, anyway? Honest, loyal, reliable Will Turner could never be so treacherous.

It’s the honest ones you have to watch out for.

Hmm. Thank you for that one useful bit of information. Liar.

Seventeen, eighteen…

Past form is the perfect disguise. Besides, it isn’t betrayal. It’s not. My aim is still true. Not like yours. Never trust a pirate.

This end will justify the means.

It just happens to mean that we have to get you back, first.

Nineteen, twenty, twenty one…

I always intended to get caught. Counted on it, actually. If I can steal a key right from under Davy Jones’s… well, it’s not really a nose, is it… the charts would have been easy, by comparison. So, it was more of an accomplishment to get hauled in front of a furious Sao Feng in one piece by two enormous guards, surrounded by the dank, mouldering velvet and ivory of his chambers.

“Are you working with the East India Company?” He glared at me accusingly.

I actually laughed.

Twenty eight, twenty nine…

“You want to be rid of Beckett, and the hold the Dutchman has over the seas, don’t you? What if I promise you that by aiding me, Beckett and Jones will both be destroyed?”

“How can you possibly accomplish this?” Sao Feng scoffed, his mocking face wreathed with opium smoke.

“Your guards took my weapons from me. There was a knife among those weapons. I intend to stab Jones’s heart with that knife.”

Suddenly I had his attention.

Thirty five, thirty six, thirty seven…

He was wary and ready at any moment to give the order to his guards to kill me. I might have some skill fighting, but either one of them could have snapped my neck easily. It was almost time to play my trump card.

“In the meantime, what’s to stop Beckett and Jones from destroying my ships? I have been landbound for three months, unfitting for a pirate lord like me.”

“What if I can guarantee that you will have something that Beckett will think is worth bargaining for; something that will mean that he stays his hand against you?”

“Ha! What can you possibly offer me that will prevent me from killing you right now?”

“Oh, I think it will be more than enough to keep you interested. First things first. I want your word that in exchange, I get the Black Pearl.”

Foolish, really, to play dice in the mouth of a dragon. But ‘rash, Turner’ seems to have become my motto. Besides, faint heart never won fair maid.

Did my heart ever win her at all, I wonder?

Forty four…

The reaction when he heard your name was better than I could have hoped for. And no, once it’s done, I won’t leave you to his mercy, or Beckett’s, or even Jones’s. Not that you don’t deserve it. I just need the Pearl for long enough… just long enough for all of this to be done with.

Fifty…

“It seems your friends are working at a different purpose to you.”

“They don’t know whose side I’m on.”

“And if they don’t know, how should I?”

Come on, come on.

“Take me prisoner. They’ll come looking for me. They’ll suspect nothing. Let them think they’ve persuaded you to help them. We’ll go and fetch the bargaining prop that you want…”

“Meaning Jack Sparrow?” He turned and spat fiercely.

I nodded. I wonder how you’ll feel to be my leverage for once.

“In return, I want your guarantee that I’ll get the Pearl. Then I kill Jones, and free my father from his service. That leaves Beckett and the Navy open and vulnerable for you to strike.”

He leaned back in his chair, obscenely long fingernails stroking his lip thoughtfully.

“And what of this Miss Swann, who sails with you?”

“What of her?”

“I have heard she is beautiful,” he said, eyes predatory and possessive.

“She is,” I replied, trying not to dwell on it too much. It seems, though, whenever it comes to her, I always give too much away.

“She is yours?” he asked, eyebrows raised, waxy face inscrutable. I wondered how he got all those scars, cross-hatching his entire head with a web of silvery streaks.

I shook my head no.

“I lay no claim to her. I doubt that any man could.”

“What if I claimed her?”

“She’s not part of the bargain.” Oh, I was trying so hard not to look angry, not to give any more away. “The deal’s off if you don’t agree to that.”

He sat quite still, eyes boring into me as he thought everything over.

“If you are lying to me, Mr Turner, you and all your friends will perish.”

“If I’m lying to you, my father will be a slave forever. Consider what is to be lost and what is to be gained by this.”

He gave me a thin-lipped smile, and nodded to the men holding me by the arms to release me. I stood up straighter and stuck out my hand to him.

“Do we have an accord?”

Sixty seven, sixty eight, sixty nine…

Ah, I can hear her voice now. She sounds angry. I wonder what she makes of this place. Strange sort of bathhouse when the water is just as dirty before you get in as when you get out. I just have to remember to keep my eyes open and my mouth shut.

You’d laugh about that, I’m sure.

This water is grey and cloudy and I can barely see the sides of the barrel in front of my face, the light is so dim. Seems everything is grey, though, now. There’s no black and white, no sharp edges to anything anymore. Nothing sharp save the knife at my hip.

If all else fails, steel will out.

Eighty four, eighty five, eighty six...

My lungs aren’t hurting yet. Good. I can hold my breath for another minute and a half easily, I’m sure of it. The spots and flashes are starting to appear in front of my eyes though, and I can hear the blood pounding hard in my ears.

There’s something fascinating about them, all those little whirling sparks that disappear as soon as you try to look at them directly. Seems like everything is getting darker as they get brighter. They’re like all those shooting stars that lit up the sky on the way to Tortuga. It seems like a lifetime ago. What did you call them? The ‘tears of St Lawrence’?

- That there is Perseus, where they’re all comin’ from. Int’resting chap, Perseus. Killed Medusa. Saved a fair maiden from a sea monster. Borrowed Hermes’ winged sandals. Handy if you need to make a hasty exit.

- Why are you telling me all this? I don’t need to learn navigation.

- Everyone needs to find their way home, William. Look to the stars. They won’t let you down.

Damn you.

Focus, Will.

Ragetti would have a laugh at my expense, no doubt, at the irony of surviving, let’s see, three shipwrecks, if I go and drown in a barrel of water.

Ninety nine, one hundred.

I am not doing this for you.

pout

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 07:12:18 GMT

Dear annoying yappy-type dog,

Please STFU now. Yes, I am aware that it is a necessary part of dogdom to bark, occasionally, but you are taking this too far. It is 8am on a Saturday morning, and some of us have nothing better to do than turn over and *snuggle* happily back into their pillows. You, my canine not-friend, are making this rather difficult. Where are your humans? Do they have no ears?

Your persistence is not endearing.

Very much no love,

The woman who lives far too close to your doggy opera for her liking

p.s. I would use earplugs so you can woof away as much as you like, but I can't remember where I left them. :S

p.p.s. you suck.

Voice Post

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 18:17:26 GMT